I’m pretty bewildered by one thing about life – the uncertainty that comes with it. At times, it scares me. But more often than not, when I move ahead and then look back, I realize that it all worked out just fine. In the end, I’m happy with the result.
The question then that occurs to me is what is it that scares me about uncertainty. What really is that element which we call tension or stress or whatever other word you’re thinking of right now. Imagine a roller coaster; we first see the entire ride from start to end. And then, we choose to sit in it and enjoy the ride. But once the wagon starts going up the railing, and we know it’s about to nose dive, we feel the butterflies. We’ve seen several people before us taking the ride, but still, in that moment, the heart skips a few beats.
Well, then it isn’t uncertainty after all. What I’ve learned from much deliberation is that this is what I call the what if syndrome.
We’ve all caught ourselves asking questions such as these. What if I don’t make it big? What if my kids don’t study well? What if they don’t make it in life? What if someone takes them for a ride? What if I lose everything I have? What if I don’t ever make any friends? What if I have bad health? What if I’m dependent? And so on and so forth; it’s an endless list.
When it comes to our kids, we say this is coming out of care or concern or purely out of love. Whatever cheesy word we can find actually. But the million-dollar question is – is it really love or our fear? Because the two never really co-exist and there can never be neither. It’s always either love or fear.
Worry is not a form of love. We justify to our kids by saying that we’re warning them out of concern, because of our experience. But then again, why will their experience be the same as ours?
Remember, when we were small kids, there used to be these books called ‘connect the dots’. Now, when we open the book all that we can see are random numbers written haphazardly over the entire page. Just gazing at the page makes no sense to us. Then we start by finding the first number and connecting that dot to the one at number 2 and so on and so forth. Even during the process of connecting, we have no clue what’s being made. It’s after we connect the last dot that we see a beautiful object or a figure or something we can define. Are we not thrilled at that time?
After the figure appears, we see how the numbers were strategically placed (which at first appeared random), how connecting them exactly in the series led us to create something beautiful.
Now, the one who placed the numbers knew exactly what would happen when they were connected, what would be created at the end and that’s why they have placed the numbers the way they have.
Can we try and look at life in the same way? Can we see the numbers placed randomly as all the people and all the events and so called circumstances we encounter and experience in our life? Placed there by God himself. Now he knows the end game, the final picture. What exactly is going to happen as we encounter one person after the other, experience one event or circumstance in life; he knows it all. He knows the end picture that is going to appear, what it’s going to look like.
So what’s our job? Just to connect the dots. Just experience each day as it comes. Live it, smile, and move on. There will obviously be emotions in the process of connecting the dots. Sometimes, the journey from 1 to 2 will be fun, 2 to 3 will be just okay, 3 to 4 maybe perceived as very tough, 4 to 5 we may hate, 5 to 6 we may choose to forgive and feel light; so on and so forth. Sometimes we try to jump from dot 1 to dot 3, simply to realize that we can’t. So we erase the lines and come right back.
The important question is – can we come across all the beings and circumstances and not judge them, not blame them for our shortcomings? Because all these people, all these things that happen, are all numbers which appear random but are strategically placed to produce the final picture.
We do have a choice – to understand that these people are in our lives because they are the ones with whom we have written our ‘soul contracts’ – they are here to teach us, to help us grow. Let’s focus on the good memories which we have with them. What if there aren’t any? We could thank them for helping us firm up our spiritual muscles. As my mentor once told me, everybody is our teacher, some teach us what to do and some teach us what not to do.
So let’s try and drop the melodrama, the hatred, and the judgment. We ask in our times which seemingly appear dark, “God, why me?” And there he is, sitting with a cheeky smile on his face, constantly giving us signs to just be. To just take the next step. To just connect the dots.
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There is a proverbial saying that goes, “Where there is a will, there is a way.”
I have experienced that if I am simply willing, the way finds me.
